Reminiscing my college days; flipping trough the time

 

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Hello, its me again. I just found this blog dusty and abandoned, classic me. I leave my writing platform so often that I forget when the last time I posted, hiks.

So today, I just wanna reminiscing my college days, that is formally ended literally just 3 days ago. But it feels like forever, because I already leave everything behind from early March this year.

So, I started my college at 2018, right when I was 18 years old. Back then, I was a simplest girl with simple mind. I just graduated from Islamic highschool which made me have this mindset, that college life is terrifying. And guess what, is that true?

Ok, lets dive in.

I studied in Communication Major, in Faculty of Social and Politics. As information, faculty of social and politics is considered a ‘hard’ journey for a muslim student. Our faculty is labelled as a faculty that is 'wild' by children who are just getting to know the outside world. There are many reasons, but mainly because of its lifestyle and society. Students of FISIP is considered openminded, liberal, and rebel. For all of you that feel offended, sorry haha. Its just a stigma, the reality is based on yourself.

I am a strict muslimah, lets just say that. When I first went to college, my jilbab is so long until everyone almost always can recognized me everywhere on campus. Because back then, its still rare seeing a girl in long hijab in FISIP. There are just a few students, including me. But that’s not becoming my concern, as I always never overthink of something.

I go everywhere in the campus with long abaya (gamis) and jilbab, and that time I still clueless about fashion, so you can just imagine me as fashion terrorist. A bright purple abaya with long cotton hijab, bright dark-blue, red, and such old color is become my bestfriend. I don’t know why I can dressed up confidently like that back then, but I want to give my old self an applause because I was so persistent.

Right now, im still with my syar’i hijab, but now I know how to mix and match colours so it doesn’t looks so bothering heheheheh. If youre a muslimah and youre reading this, please do know that being syar’i doesn’t mean you can't dressed up nicely. Being syar’i doesn’t mean you can't look charming. Its not tabarruj, its just bare minimum. Rasulullah also said that Allah loves beauty, right? So, we can show that being muslimah is a good thing and nice to watch. Set the good standard, girls.

My Syar’i Hijab Fight

Back to the story, I always wearing long jilbab and abaya, right? So, one day when my lecture told us to wear a batik clothes for his class, I showed up wearing an abaya batik. Batik, in gamis model.

Before we continue, I want to introduce you to the one and only, my lecture that I will remember forever, lets just call him: Mr. Batik. Mr. Batik is a person that loves culture so much, as he teach us about cultural communication. He loves Javanese culture, and have very big impact in our campus and the outside as well because of his merit in cultural event. Just say his name, and the whole Banyumas government will recognized him. That is how big his impact is.

So, I attended to his class, with batik in gamis. At first I didn’t notice, but then I realized that he doesn’t looked so happy seeing my clothes. It turned out that he doesn’t like if we match Javanese culture with Islamic culture. Then, he called me. In front of the class, he said that gamis is not a good clothes for women because its easy to rip off. Beside gamis, I should wear kebaya instead. He said something that insult me, insult Islam, and insult women.

I was shock, but I cant say anything. Sadly, as I was silent, the whole classroom is laughed with him, including all my girl friends that I thought is indirectly insulted too.

I went back home in anger, then tell my mom about this. She said, I cant let my anger make me not respecting him. On the contrary, I should show him. Show him that the little girl that he insulted and belittled is a smart, inspiring, and strong muslimah. Show him that even tough my head is covered by long jilbab, it doesn’t covered my brain. Instead, im much more than that.

So, after that day, I just live my days being me. I want to show them all that I am smart and I cant be underestimated. I listened to my classes, do all my homework eagerly, even my notebooks in class were borrowed and photocopied by my friends before every exam.

And then, the day of final exam is coming. Mr. Batik was become the exam supervisor in Indonesian language exam, the one class that he teached. He looked around to see our answers, then he said that only mine were correct. He said, “you guys have to learn from her. What is your name?” I smiled contentedly. “My name is Nisa, sir.” The one little girl you once insulted in the class.

The smile grew wider when I saw the final result, I got a perfect GPA. My first GPA was 4.0, only me from the whole class. As I realized what that mean is, I want so scream to the whole world; don’t underestimated a power of muslimah.

We are free, and it is our choice to wear this syar’i hijab and it doesn’t limit us from being smart and educated. We are free, we never limited from every bright places and ideas we had in our head. So, again, lets set the standard high.

My Abroad Journey - Malaysia

Being an unpriviledged student, I never know how the feeling of going abroad, nor even get on an airplane. So when my lecturer offered us, who want to go to Malaysia for a conference, I stepped up. At that time, I haven’t had a passport. We had to made our passport in the middle of our class, going to Cilacap just for that. And voilaa, I have my passport at the second semester.

After finishing our rushed paper and ask for money from my parents for going to the conference, we were ready to go. So, my first abroad trip is started.

I don’t have much photo about the memories in Malaysia, because back then I didn't know yet about the importance of recording and capturing the moment. But I still remember how the feeling of excitement when I dropped off to the airport, watching the plane from far away, then fly above the clouds. From the first moment on the plane when I saw the clear sky, I know right away that my favourite vehicle is airplane.

We arrived at our venue, University Utara Malaysia. We stayed in the student dorm that have interesting view to the nature. Apparently, this university was a forest, then it become an university with natural resources that are still being maintained. There are deers, lakes, and mini forest in there.

At the conference, I learned to presented my paper in English language for the first time. I learned how small our life is, and how big this world is. Even tough our paper ended up not win, I still happy and from there, I gained motivation to keep learning and traveling around this vast world.

We continue our trip after the conference was ended. Our venue which is a university in south Malaysia is located near Thailand border. So we went to Thailand for a moment. Even just a moment, we shopped in Thailand store and tried Thailand food. Its such a happy and joyful moment, full of something new. After that, we went back to Kuala Lumpur by plane. From that Malaysia trip, I have traveled four times with an airplane. So exciting for little me.

My Second Abroad Journey - Turkey

My second experience of going abroad is when I went to Turkey for a summit. You can read it on the other post. And this time, it was all by myself. The preparation, the funding, and all of the trip was all by myself, even though I went with my friend and a group of travel. But, I prepared all the money to go to Turkey by myself. I saved my scholarship money every month, then I looked for sponsor from my university and many company. It was a tiring journey, and from that I learned that collecting money is not easy, especially when your family is not very whealthy :’)

And there is an exciting story related to previous Mr. Batik. He, whom from earlier was not very much liked me, now becoming my support system. Mr. Batik helped me raising funds for my trip. He took me to met many stakeholders for asking for sponsor. He even took me to met Mr. Ahmad Husein, Banyumas’ regent in his official residence house at that time. And from there, he gave me sponsor, Alhamdulillah. Thankyou Mr. Batik! Youre such a help.

Moral of the story, we never know how people will affect our life, doesn’t it? That’s why, keep being good and respect each other. Im glad I respect Mr. Batik as my lecturer and my rolemodel. Because it doesn’t end there, he will keep influencing my life as he become my thesis guide hahahah. But we’ll talk about it later.

On that summit, I made a group of friends. We made a project and presented it to bigger audiens, ofcourse it was in full English. It was such a valuable experience. Let aside the summit, I also travel to many places and city in Turkey. I experienced my first snow there, what an amazing moment.

Turkey trip was surely affecting my world in many ways. It makes me realized that single encounter could mean a whole world to you. How someone so far away can be your best companion.

It also makes me realized that this world is much bigger than it seems. There are so many beautiful places on earth that I should see someday. I wish to be back there. And I wish to see another wonderous place on this earth with my own eyes. May Allah help me and allow my dreams be come true.

My Union and Friction; The Story Behind Organization

I have been addressed as someone who is active in many social activities since highschool. Maybe someday I will write the story behind that, my growing up and glowing up journey.

On the campus, I have been active on various organization. I think being a part of organization or group is a valuable things, that we find union and bond with the people we didn’t know beforehand. We find comfort, home, and friends as the union grow bigger. Some people even stay as family, some stays as friends, and some gone. But its normal, and its just life. Simple things.

I was active on many campus organization and being the leader. But the most memorable and had a big impact is, the one and only; BEM.

Leading the highest government organization on my campus is surely being a life-changing moment in my life. It started when I decided to brave myself and put up in the Pemira contest. I just cant think straight about it anymore, how the earth I had so much bravery back then. Because.. it was hell. Hahaha. I faced threats, anger, sadness, injustice, and many other painful things.

But I know, it all made me mentally strong as I am now. If I had not been indicted and tried in the student court, facing so much hate comments, and so many other hurtful things, I would not be as strong and brave as I am now.

All of that friction that happened, shape me as I am right now.

I wouldn’t say that my opponent is vicious, bad, and I am the one who wronged here. Because there always will be another side of the story, right? Im sure my opponent also feel that I did terrible things, so I don’t want to make any other judgements. Let Allah know and judge everything, I just did my best in the good way possible. I just hope that we can be friends again.. let aside all the friction that ever happened before. Because before all of this, we once were a friend, a company..

In the end, I became Vice President of BEM. Im so grateful for whatever happened. All the hardships, anger, sadness, emptiness, tiredness, mean nothing than the happiness, joy, and the gratitudes. I found a home that I can always going back to. I found my precious people, I found the best companion and union.

I hope this home will remain the same. And I hope, for you who read this, you also find your union, your company, and your own home. Because we all deserve a good friends who listen and accompany us when things get hard.

And you can start to look for that, by joining activity or organization! That’s why I don’t believe in people who said organization isn’t beneficial. I’ve tried myself, and without joining organization, I wouldn’t be myself right now.

My Failure, and Finding Great Wisdom

I don’t know how to summarize this.. but it’s a tough journey. A very hard one, indeed. Its about my graduation struggle, that I was never thougt will happened to me.

Okay, so, I was always a lucky student that even when im lazy, my friend will always help me with college things. That is one thing I forever grateful, for having the best people around me.

On my thesis days, I was alone. All of my close friends in the class is graduated before me. So, I only have myself back then. And then I planned to graduate at March, that is the plan. Everything went well, I made it to semhas on time and just registered for graduation.

But suddenly, surprisingly, everything changed because apparently, I missed one small detail. That one mistake made me finally have to give in: I failed. I failed to graduate in March.

Finally, i failed. It looks like a small failure to others. But for me, it's very huge. That failure ruined my plans, destroyed my dream plans, and my parents' expectations. I even got depressed for the first time in my life, just because of this. My energy is running out, my energy to try new things and to dreams seems to be disappeared somewhere.

In my college days, maybe I can be considered as high-achieving student. Now that I faced a failure, everything seems useless and small. And I cant stand the reality that I hit rock bottom, I literally had no doors to open.

But as the rock bottom only have one way to escape, it is to jump back.

So, I jumped back. But not easy.

It happened few months, to I finally be able to breathe anymore. Wait, maybe I will post my reflections when I finally stepped into daylight again. Its here.

I never thought that I will also feeling such kind of emotion, mentally unstabled hahahah. But Alhamdulillah, it all passed with one cure: ikhlas.

When we are ikhlas, accept every qadr that happen to us with big heart, it will surely be easier. Its such a great wisdom for me. Someone also said..  in this life, we doesn’t have to be the highest. When we can make good things and be beneficial for others, that is enough.

So, ikhlas is the key, everybody! We have to accept all the qadr after we done the maximum effort. Then, we could feeling enough with ourself. That is the great wisdom I had from this failure. 

Not so failure, because in June, I graduated as the second-best student in my faculty. Still failure to me, because if I was graduated earlier, I will be the first best, hahaha. But its okay, all that matter is I already accept all of that and moved on with brighter and lighter heart.

So, is college terrifying?

I don’t think so. Its not a place for us to be scared, but to learn. Learn how to maintain our ideality, maintain our principals, a.k.a istiqomah. It is a place to learn about friendship, about friction and union, also the life lesson you’ll never find in another place.

So, to everyone that came to my life in this pas 4 years in college, Im so grateful for having you. The good, the bad, all of the kind of memories, it all was beautiful.

The long journey ahead may seems terrifying too, but as I found the beauty of these past years, I will also find another miracle and happiness in the future, right?

I hope, whatever it is, I will always be accompanied by the best company, and having the best journey with Allah’s help in every way that I take.

Thankyou for reading this. Thankyou for being with me.

To you, I hope you can find every little things that mattered in your beautiful life.

See you next time!🌻